Believe Them

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Yesterday I shared a quote from Brene’ Brown. She said, “In order to empathize with someone’s experience, you must be willing to believe them as they see it and not how you imagine their experience to be.” It may be one of the most profound thoughts I’ve heard in a while.

As a woman of color, empathy is something I desire deeply. I read many comments and listen to many opinions on the black experience from people who have never had said experience. What I and many others desire, is for people to believe us. Believe our personal experience and the feelings that go along with that. No one can fully comprehend what it is like to be in another’s shoes.


I think of men who make decisions for women based on their understanding of what it’s like to be a woman. I consider people who have never experienced sexual assault chime in on how someone who has been raped should feel or act. I ponder the many words of hurtful “consolation” given to women unable to bear children by those who have given birth to or those who have never desired children. 


You can fill in whatever blank applies to your experience. 


When I think about opinions I have heard from people, concerning our current racial situation, it pains me. Friends often share thoughts without considering how it might affect my or anyone else’s feelings. Allow me to share something with you.


We are not making this stuff up!


You know what I realized the other day? It is humiliating to admit that people who look like me are so often treated differently and poorly because of the color of their skin.


Humiliating.


It is not something we like to brag about. What makes it even more humiliating is the fact that so many deny our experiences. 


My guess is that many of you feel the same about an experience or experiences you have had. How much does that hurt? How much does it hurt when someone tells you it is wrong to feel the way you do?


What would Jesus say? 


“Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” -1 Peter‬ ‭3:8‬ 

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