Who They Are

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I live in the South.


I have lived here for 18 years. I can hardly believe it’s been that long. 20 years ago, if you would have told me I would be living here I wouldn’t have believed you. Like so many people who don’t live in the South, I had a ton of preconceived ideas about it and its people.


I am originally from California, and my husband is from New York. Those places couldn’t be any more different than they are from the South. I had preconceived ideas about who lived here. In fact, I still struggle to change some of those. If someone sounds a certain way, or is wears a certain thing, or drives a certain kind of vehicle, I often have opinions of who they “probably” are. Sometimes who I think they might be makes me feel unsafe.


That’s not fair. That’s not right.


I continue working to shift my thinking and change the biases that have been formed in my brain for so long. I realized one day, that if someone looks “unsafe” to me, I will often protect myself by either looking away from them, or giving them a blank stare. I figure, if they don’t like me, I don’t want to aggravate them by looking at them, or smiling at them. I know I sound a little crazy, but I think my way through my thoughts, and can usually determine all the reasons I do certain things. Does that make sense?


I have also realized how unfair that is. Sometimes one of those people I assume has a problem with me will smile at me and say hello. It surprises me every time. Yes, it makes me feel bad and guilty. How dare I make assumptions about people, and treat them according to my preconceived ideas.  


How dare I.


So now I do my best, regardless of how I think someone MIGHT treat me, or think of me, to show them the love of Christ. . I’ve been working on my “smiling eyes” behind my cloth mask. Who they are is not my problem. My job is to love. Maybe that positive encounter, with someone like me could change their preconceived ideas about people like me.


Maybe we can all work to mind our thoughts and change our actions, ultimately changing the world.


“No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.” -‭‭1 John‬ ‭4:12‬


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