I Can't Breathe

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My heart is heavy and I want to open it to you.


I don’t write much about this issue because I’ve always felt like my words as a woman of color didn’t carry as much weight with a predominately white audience. I figured the general consensus would be “Of course she thinks there’s a problem, she’s black.” I never wanted to come off as militant or over-sensitive. So I’ve remained silent. This is a common problem among many people with skin like mine.


So words cannot adequately express my gratitude for my white brothers and sisters who are hurt, moved, angry enough to not just recognize, but speak up and out against the blatant racism that plagues our country.


I want to go numb. I don’t want to feel any of this. Generally, when I see the stories pop up on various feeds, I feel that twinge of pain so...I move on. I’ve got to guard my heart. Right?


Well, no more. It’s time to speak. I’m not going to voice my anger. I won’t scream about my outrage. I will just tell you that it hurts. I’m in physical, mental, and emotional pain.


George Floyd told officers that his neck hurt, his stomach hurt, that everything hurt, and he couldn’t breathe. He cried for his mama. Dear God, he cried for his mama.


Somehow, I felt his pain.


When I woke up in the morning, the stress tightened up my shoulder and neck so much that I could hardly move without pain. My stomach hurt thinking about George’s mother and his family who lost their precious loved one because his life wasn’t valued. The thought that one day it could be my son, takes my breath away.


George Floyd was a precious child of God deeply loved by his Creator. His life had value. So many of us take time and space to express the value of the unborn, who never had a chance to breathe. It’s time to express our love for lives lived outside of the womb as well.


Yesterday I talked about recognizing the real enemy, and choosing to see the beauty. So, at the end of all of those feelings, that’s what we must choose to do.


Find beauty in these ashes. Make the decision that unity will be the Phoenix that rises from this tragedy. Friends! We have the power to do that.


We can choose. If you are a Christ-follower what other choice is there than to embrace the hurting even if you cannot fully understand their pain?


What the enemy wants is to cause more division through this death and the residual rising emotions.


The enemy is not the police. The enemy in this story is the evil that resides in the man that killed George Floyd and those that stood and did nothing. The enemy is hate. The enemy is division. The enemy is apathy. Recognize it, and take it down.


Sometimes the enemy resides in me. Sometimes it resides in you. Let’s not be a part of the evil one’s plan.


Fight for peace. Fight for justice. Fight for love.


I promise it’s worth it.


“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:” Philippians‬ ‭2:1-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬




If something I said resonates with you and you believe it could bless someone else, please share. I would also love to read your thoughts in the comments section.

Be blessed. 


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