Paralyzed

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Yesterday, I wrote about the psychological paralysis I have been experiencing during the stay at home order, then talked about it during my new book club in which we are discussing Jennie Allen’s book “Get Out of Your Head.” I was relieved to find that I was not alone in the anxiety, causing paralysis. My guess is that many of you are feeling the same.

Then, later that night, as if dropped down from the heavens, I came upon a book in my library, with a chapter titled “Freedom From Paralyzing Fears.” One of the questions that it asked was “To what degree is fear holding you back from taking the risks to learn. . . to try. . . to do. . . to speak up. . . to step out. . . to move forward?

My answer was obviously “To the degree of paralysis,” and here is my short list of fears:
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Fear of being laughed at.
Fear of being misunderstood.
Fear of doing it wrong.
Fear of letting someone down.
Fear that I am not good enough.


Can you identify with any of those fears? Sheila Walsh said this about fear: “Fear is a ravenous beast than can eat away at our faith and paralyze us until we are unable to move.” That’s exactly what the evil one intends to do. Paralyze us to the point where we are ineffective. I know that, yet I still struggle. 

When I look back at my past (often only perceived) failures, I realize that I have allowed long term fears to develop from them. That needs to be dealt with. 

You can read a story in the Bible (Mark 5:30-34) about a woman with a hemorrhaging illness. She had been bleeding for twelve years. One day she decided that she had enough, and gained the faith and courage to approach Jesus. She had so much faith, she believed if she only touched the hem of His garment, she would be healed. She was rewarded for her faith and was healed immediately. 

So do I have enough faith to believe that God can take my fears and push me into His will and all that He has planned for me? Here’s where my head goes… What if I believe for a minute that I can do anything He calls me to do, and I step into HIs will, then in the middle of it all realize that I was wrong, I can’t do it, then fall flat on my face?!

It is really illogical, but that is the kind of circular thinking I find myself doing. I bet you do it too! Ugh! 

I have got to put myself aside and trust Him. When I look at my list of fears, I can see how self-centered they are. They are rooted in me, not in Him. Isaiah 26:3 says, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” 

Well, there is the problem. I am not keeping my thoughts fixed on Him. When I fix my thoughts on God, when I take every thought captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), I can get out of my own head and the fixation that I clearly have on myself, and change everything. 

He’s got plans for you and me and they are perfect. It’s about time to trust Him with every part of our lives, take courage, and move forward.

“Courage and fear-- those two attributes are strange bedmates. It would seem impossible to experience both of them at the same time, yet I believe that’s the challenge of the Christian life. Fear tells us that life is unpredictable, anything can happen, but faith replies quietly, “Yes, but God is in Control” --Sheila Walsh


Now friends, go in peace and be healed of your affliction (Mark 5:34)

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