How did I get here?

-

I don’t know how you feel during this holiday season, but I have struggled with the fact that it just doesn’t feel like Christmas. I’ve decorated, I’ve bought the gifts, I’ve made the cookies. I still feel like something is missing. I feel like I am waiting for something. I feel there’s got to be more.


I know God has plans for me. I wonder if I am heading in the right direction, or have I stopped in the wrong place? 


Do you ever feel like that?


I can’t help but think of Mary riding on a donkey, ready to give birth, not knowing how she would reach her destination without having that baby prematurely. I mean, what a bumpy ride it must have been! Certainly not as smooth as my minivan. 


I wonder if when she arrived, finding her only option for shelter was a barn if she had a meltdown. I wonder if she sat in that barn, surrounded by the stench of animals, the discomfort of scratchy hay, and a really stressed out Joseph, thinking, “This cannot be right! They said I am pregnant with a King! The Savior! Surely this is not where I should be right now. Surely there is something better. I trusted God, and He has me sitting here in the most uncomfortable place imaginable!”


I can think of a number of times I have felt that way concerning what God is doing in my life. How did I get here? Where am I going? Will I survive this? Though I have questions, I also have some answers, because God is the same today, as He was yesterday, and will be tomorrow. I know I can trust Him. He knows where I am going, and that is enough. It is often uncomfortable and stinks, however, most of the time my struggle gives birth to something awesome I never could have imagined. Even when I don’t understand why God allows me to be in a certain place, or where He is sending me, I can praise Him because what I know, is that He is good.

 

“Mary responded, “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭1:46-49‬ ‭

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Complexity of Prayer

-
Image
Have you ever considered the complexity of prayer? Have you ever had something you needed to pray about, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk to God about whatever the issue was? I have experienced that many times. I will call it “Prayer paralysis.” Prayer paralysis happens when you are afraid of any answer God might give you. If He says no, then you might feel bad, or sad, or even angry. If He says yes, then your fear factor increases because you just don’t think you can handle what a “Yes” entails (which essentially means that you don’t trust Him). So instead of revealing your lack of trust (Like seriously, you don’t think He knows? ), you just don’t pray. It’s kind of like when you were a little kid, and you would sit still and close your eyes, thinking that it would make you invisible. God already knows our fears of failure, self-pride, and even our trust issues, so we might as well just go ahead and lay it all at His feet. There’s another kind of prayer paralysis that I ha
Read more

Should Someone Call an Exorcist?

-
Image
Last Friday I went bowling with some of my family. I am aware of my low skill level, so I remained humble throughout the first game, and surprisingly finished in 1st place!  The second game began and I just knew I would dominate even more. I may not have been quite as humble. I was last on the list to go. I stood up and approached my ball with confidence. I picked it up, set my eye on the center arrow painted on the lane, then took a few quick steps forward just as I had before.  As I took my last step, I swung my arm backward, then forward, and fell flat on my face. Actually, flat is not entirely accurate. I’m pretty sure every one of my limbs flew in a different direction, and the position of my head may have had folks wondering if they should call an exorcist. I also seemed to be temporarily blinded from the fall but could hear my ball bouncing its way down the lane. Let’s pause for a moment of prayer. The problem was that I had stepped over the foul line into the lane— 1. Not reali
Read more

Go Deeper

-
Image
  Anyone struggling with anxiety? I have struggled with it quite a bit. Then, I realize that forgetting to bring all of my anxiety-inducing problems to God, is a big part of the problem. Yesterday I talked about living in endurance mode. Part of that is taking all of the difficult things, and trying to wait them out.  If I really think about it, I may have subconsciously believed that struggling is just part of the journey and that I need to suck it up, because Jesus went through way more than I ever will.    But, “ Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)  He never intended for us to hold onto them. Sometimes we don’t bother saying anything to God because, well, He knows what’s happening. He can change it if He wants to. So we sit paralyzed—enduring! Is that familiar to anyone? Though He could whisk our struggles away at any time, part of the journey, part of our relationship with the Creator is rooted in commu
Read more