How did I get here?

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I don’t know how you feel during this holiday season, but I have struggled with the fact that it just doesn’t feel like Christmas. I’ve decorated, I’ve bought the gifts, I’ve made the cookies. I still feel like something is missing. I feel like I am waiting for something. I feel there’s got to be more.


I know God has plans for me. I wonder if I am heading in the right direction, or have I stopped in the wrong place? 


Do you ever feel like that?


I can’t help but think of Mary riding on a donkey, ready to give birth, not knowing how she would reach her destination without having that baby prematurely. I mean, what a bumpy ride it must have been! Certainly not as smooth as my minivan. 


I wonder if when she arrived, finding her only option for shelter was a barn if she had a meltdown. I wonder if she sat in that barn, surrounded by the stench of animals, the discomfort of scratchy hay, and a really stressed out Joseph, thinking, “This cannot be right! They said I am pregnant with a King! The Savior! Surely this is not where I should be right now. Surely there is something better. I trusted God, and He has me sitting here in the most uncomfortable place imaginable!”


I can think of a number of times I have felt that way concerning what God is doing in my life. How did I get here? Where am I going? Will I survive this? Though I have questions, I also have some answers, because God is the same today, as He was yesterday, and will be tomorrow. I know I can trust Him. He knows where I am going, and that is enough. It is often uncomfortable and stinks, however, most of the time my struggle gives birth to something awesome I never could have imagined. Even when I don’t understand why God allows me to be in a certain place, or where He is sending me, I can praise Him because what I know, is that He is good.

 

“Mary responded, “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, and from now on all generations will call me blessed. For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭1:46-49‬ ‭

 

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