COVID

 I must apologize, as I have not kept those of you not on social media up to date. So this will be a long one...

Last week Covid struck our household. It hit me, my husband Ozzy, and our daughter Olivia.

First of all, I’m pretty sure that Covid came straight from hell, and as far as I’m concerned can go back anytime.

I didn’t share initially because I thought we could just glide past and pretend it never happened. We had avoided it for almost 2 years and believed that maybe we would never get it. I have had every symptom there is except for loss of taste. Somehow, I can find gratitude for it, as I am always grateful for experiences that allow me to find empathy for others in specific situations.

The most difficult part of our Covid journey began when Ozzy struggled to breathe deeply Wednesday evening, and had some sort of seizure-like episodes. I made the choice to call 911. It was the first time Covid truly scared me. I have refused to live in fear of this evil entity, but I admit that fear tugged at me pretty hard when the EMS workers told me they felt it was best to take him in and get him checked out. It tugged even harder when I realized I could not go with him as they put him in the truck.

Understand this: I still refuse to allow fear to consume me.

I trusted God, but thought about the friends we have lost through Covid, and the fact that Ozzy is not any more special than they were, and that I had to trust God even in the valley of the shadow of death.

The EMS truck stayed in our front yard for longer than I thought it should, so I walked out into the cold and jumped up and down so they could see me through the window. They were kind enough to open the door. I essentially threatened Ozzy to make sure he checked his phone and answered it often. I said it three times in three different ways, so the EMS worker asked if I wanted him to write it on his hand with a sharpie. Good man.

That was last Wednesday, and he stayed there in the hospital, with Covid Pneumonia while they try to figure out how to keep his oxygen level from dipping every time he did any activity, as well as worked to kill the Covid inside of his lungs.

Each night I stayed connected to him through Facetime on my nightstand, in case anything happened that I needed to wake up for. Those of you who have traveled this kind of Covid road, know what it feels like not to be able to be with your person, so you do what you have to do.

It looked like he would have to come home on oxygen, but I’d rather bring him home on oxygen than send him home to our Creator.

I felt frustrated and sad. I’ll be honest when I say it was a challenging time to trust the Lord. But I still chose to do so.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-2‬ ‭

On day six, Ozzy was doing very well and his oxygen level stabilized for the most part. We thought he was going to come home that day, but they wanted to keep him and observe him due to another issue.

And this is the part that I must give thanks to God for. I choose to look at this whole experience as a huge blessing because we found out that Ozzy is diabetic as well as some other things we need to keep an eye on. Covid revealed those things so now we know how to move forward.

I was grateful my husband would get to come home, and at the same time it brought up feelings of mourning for our friends who weren’t able to do so.

How do we reconcile the fact that some are allowed to stay, when others must go? My heart hurts just thinking about it. The only thing I know is that God is sovereign and the best choice is to trust His wisdom as He sees the big picture.

I choose to give thanks and praise and ask you to join me regardless of any of our circumstances. Let’s continue to pray for each other and against the enemy, Continue to love each other without judgment, and let’s get to the end of this.

The evening of Tuesday the 9th, I was thrilled to bring Ozzy home without needing an oxygen tank! He is doing well, and we are learning how to navigate through this new world of diabetes management.

I remain grateful for a God who we can always trust with the big picture.