I’m Not Happy

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I was talking with a friend one day, and during our conversation, she said she wasn't happy. My first instinct was to rush to her psychological aid and list all of the reasons she should be happy. Then it occurred to me. . . 

I'm not happy either.

I realized there had been a dark cloud hovering over my head for a while. 




It was not the cloud of depression. It was a cloud of dissatisfaction, discontentment, and the looming question:

What if this is it?


I have always been very uncomfortable with the phrase "I'm not happy." That's the line in the movie, when spoken, you know is leading to divorce, suicide, mid-life crisis shenanigans, etc.

However, it was and is a reality. Sometimes I'm not happy, but that’s okay.

The fact of the matter is I am not happy with the current state of our nation. I am not happy with certain things about myself. I’m not happy I can’t go on vacation. I’m not happy I have a foot that hurts all the time. I’m not rich. I can’t fly, and I don’t appreciate that God didn’t grant my request to be Wonder Woman, with a gold lasso and all, like I requested as I child. I have shattered dreams.

You may not see it on my face. It may not be reflected in my Facebook status. Nevertheless, it is a fact. I am not always happy. How can I live like this day after day?

Because I have JOY.

What appears to be happiness to everyone else is simply joy. I have hope things will get better. I have the love of a wonderful man and three beautiful children. I have the ultimate love of my heavenly Father, who did not promise life would be problem free, but did promise to walk with me through it all, and teach me lessons along the way. I don't have the type of wealth enabling me to go do whatever I want, whenever I want, but I have a deep joy that I am richly blessed with family and friends I can share my life with. It's okay that I am not happy all the time.

I do have times of happiness. I do desire to be happy all the time, but that is just not realistic. What I want the most, is for my joy to endure through any circumstance. Tim Hansel said, “Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.”

Have you ever known a person who has gone through horrendous things in their life, but still seems to have an unexplainable joy? It's crazy! It even irritates you a little bit. Right? But did you know you can have it too?

I believe it is a choice. Choose joy. Choose to focus on the things Jesus teaches (Mark 12:30-31) in the Bible that truly matter. They are soul-deep and long lasting. When you get up each morning, look in the mirror, and say, “I choose joy.” Then make a conscious decision each moment to do just that. Start by looking outside of yourself and finding a way to love and serve another human.

Ask God to help you find joy in the midst of your trials. Meditate on His Word and He will open you up to find it.

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭51:12‬ ‭

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