Christina Speaks

Once in a while, I need a pep talk which often leads me to give you one as well . There are many of you experiencing difficulties with humans. ;) You are trying to be the person God called you to be and are probably succeeding. But then someone comes along and makes you doubt it. They may even be sneaky about it. They make you think you are not good enough, or worthy. And for a moment you believe them. Let me remind you. You have been chosen. Walk in the truth of God’s word to you. No one else is supposed to understand your calling. It wasn’t a conference call. I’ve realized that there are people who do their best to tear down but aren’t even always aware they are doing so. They may believe or at least proclaim they are doing what’s right. Remember “...the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” And sometimes he uses good people to do it. Remember who the real enemy is (and maybe remind me when I forget). I also want to remind you (as I also remind mysel

ANOTHER REFLECTION FROM ABOUT ONE YEAR AFTER ISAIAH’S BRAIN SURGERY.  _____________________________________________________ I am weary. Many of you understand. You are weary too. You may not have a child with a brain injury, but you have a child with something else- or maybe it’s your spouse, parent, or friend. I know it’s my job as a mother, but can I get a raise? Vacation time? Sick leave? I am weary. Many things make me feel that way. Mostly, I haven’t learned how to juggle everything inside my “new normal.” If I’m really honest with myself, I haven’t fully accepted or embraced this new life. I guess the fact that I had to catch my breath while watching Isaiah put on his shoes with one hand the other day was a clue. My son only has “one hand.” He seems to have adjusted pretty well, but yesterday I felt sad as I watched him. Does he grieve his loss more than he lets on? Should we talk about it more? As time goes on, the knowledge that he cannot, and may never be able to do some thing

March is Brain Injury Awareness Month.  I found the following conversation from six years ago that may represent what many caretakers of brain injury patients go through or have been through. Maybe it will give you some insight into the aftermath of brain injuries. I also found this picture of Isaiah from that time six years ago. _____________________________ We were in the car when I told Isaiah he had lint in his hair. He never remembered to brush his hair, so it was a common issue. It made him mad. He told me I didn’t need to say that to him. What?! I explained that it wasn’t a criticism and I figured he’d want to know if he had something in his hair. That annoyed him even more! I told him that when I tell his Dad that HE has something on his face or something like that, he tells me THANK YOU. So, that’s probably what he should say too. He then explained that it’s okay for me to tell him that something is on his face, but not that there is lint in his hair. “What would you rather me

Why do bad things happen to good people? Hardest question ever! I don’t have the answer, but I know God sees the whole picture. I read somewhere that “Pain awakens us to God.” I know my pain did. Sometimes our pain awakens us to God in a different way. Some of us become angry, wondering why He allowed “it” to happen to us. Why didn’t He answer my prayer the way I wanted Him to?  Remember the movie Bruce Almighty and the scene where Bruce (playing God) decided to answer everyone’s prayers exactly the way they wanted? The world ended up in total chaos. It just can’t be that way. We have to trust that God has it under control. Sucks for us sometimes, but makes sense in the grand scheme of the universe. He knows the right balance.  A reporter asked me once why I thought God saved Isaiah. How can answer that? My son is not any more special than my friend’s son who died of leukemia, or my friend’s wife who died of cancer, the husband who died of Covid, or so many who have lost babies before

My Dad took this picture on September 8, 2015, at the exact moment I looked into Isaiah’s eyes that night. It was then that I asked nurse Bob to check his eyes because “something wasn’t right.”  If I hadn’t been prompted by what I can only guess was the Spirit of God, to check Isaiah’s eyes, I believe he would have died. Isaiah was unresponsive at this point, and I didn’t have any medical training, so I had no real reason to do such a thing. I believe this moment captured, was the very moment God set His plan into motion. Although it is difficult to look at this picture, as it brings up many unpleasant emotions, it also reminds me that God was in this from moment one. It reminds me that even when life is hard, we must remember that God has already gone before us. I am thankful for, although seemingly small, powerful reminders of how God cares for us. "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ”So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:30-31 He’s

This picture of Isaiah was taken 12 days after his brain surgery in the PICU. He was just beginning physical therapy. In this picture, I see pain, frustration, sadness, anger, etc. I see a kid who just couldn’t understand why this happened to him. He wanted his life back. This picture represents so many of us, as we feel the pain and the frustration of a life we never expected. Recently, I’ve had some people share with me that, unlike our story, and my book title, God didn’t change His mind in their situation. Maybe some are wondering why Isaiah was allowed to live, and their son/daughter/loved one wasn’t.  Why must they endure that pain each day?  I often wonder the same thing for others.  The scripture that comes to mind when pondering why God allows the things he does is Isaiah 55:8-9.  It says, “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD.   “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are high

One morning a few years ago, Isaiah woke up early so he could go volunteer with a baseball league for kids with physical and developmental challenges.  He told me that he had a great time and was really impressed with the kids.  Then he told me about the father of one of the boys who had sustained a brain injury at the time of birth. According to Isaiah, the man walked up to him and said, “I know you’re disabled.”  “What? That’s what he said Isaiah? He just walked up to you and said that?” Isaiah was upset. “Yeah, and he didn’t have to say that. I didn’t really like it.”  “I know. I’m sorry Isaiah.” My heart cracked open, and my eyes filled with tears.  He asked Isaiah what happened to him, and although taken aback, Isaiah was gracious and told the man his story. The man then invited him to join the league, and let him know what days they met. He had the very best of intentions and thought he was being kind and helpful but . . . Isaiah looked at me and said, “Mom, I’m not going to do t

  I have a confession to make.  I am often embarrassed to call myself a Christian in front of non-Christians. Do any of you struggle with that as well?  Sadly Christianity in our country has often represented what people are against. It has represented judgment and prejudice. Intolerance and discrimination. Superiority and self-righteousness. It's embarrassing. Let's take social media. If people can look through our timelines and know all of the things we are against, all of the people we reject, or which humans we seem to put on a pedestal, there's a problem. When a stranger has a hard time finding any hint of Jesus on our timelines, we should be concerned. How in the world are we struggling with Unity when we claim to follow the One who taught THE master class on the subject?  I was talking to a friend recently whose child struggles with God. They believe in Him, but humans have misrepresented Him so grossly, that it’s become difficult to believe that God is a loving, mer

Last night, I found this picture of my son Isaiah on the day he decided to give his life to Christ.    In my book “When God Changed His Mind, I explain how I believed Isaiah would die at a young age. So on September 8, when things looked grim. I prepared for the worst, including planning his funeral in my mind. Yet I still begged God to spare his life, and “change His mind.”    And He did.   I no longer have that feeling. It disappeared the night God saved Isaiah. Everything changed. I believe that September 8th was the day the old Isaiah died, and a new one was born with a higher purpose.    “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” 2 Corinthians 5:17   When I look back, I realize that the night of September 8 was a kind of rebirth for both of us. That night changed the trajectory of our lives forever.   “For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glori