Christina Speaks

“Know your beliefs. Understand them. Devote yourself to them. Then take all of that and make it you ambition to be part of a loving community, and you will live well”. -Bob Goff Many of us know our beliefs, but do we understand them? I’ve found in the past that there were things I believed for years. I would stand up for them, argue over them, lose sleep over them. . . but when I really examined my heart, and why I believed what I did, I realized I didn’t truly believe those  things. Often times, they were beliefs that were passed down. Some were traditions taught by men in a church building, passed off as biblical truth. Others were based on experiences in my life that created biases I wasn’t even aware of. When we are able to examine our heart through the lens of Christ, then devote ourselves to being part of a loving community, we will see and experience change. “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reaso

The other day my daughter started to read the account of Elijah McClain. A precious young man who lost his life because evil once again took the form of a man in uniform. I had to ask her to stop reading. It’s too much.  I want to stay informed. I need to hear the stories reminding me that I must not stop bringing light to this dark dark place, but I can’t hear them all. That one. . . that one could have been my son. He was kind. He was gentle. He played the violin for animals at a shelter.  It’s too much. There are some things that are extremely difficult to reconcile. It is difficult to look at policemen the same, after hearing story after story of racist rants, beatings, murders, etc. But here’s the thing… it’s difficult to look at humans the same after hearing stories of evil penetrating our society. It’s difficult to believe that people are inherently good when we allow our minds to only take captive the thoughts of the evil one. I will say it again. We must recognize the real ene

Something is really wrong. Have you noticed? We all see the obvious issues. Race, politics, health, etc., but there is something we may be missing. Some days, it’s easy for me to get caught up in the emotional rollercoaster of crazy running through this country. Someone says something that upsets me and gets my heart pumping. I see a comment that takes mind other places than the thoughts of Jesus. I read a news article that gets my mind racing. I get distracted. Hey, remember that evil guy? The one who prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) He is smart, he is subtle. He is often unrecognizable. He is the accuser. Has anyone accused you of something lately? Have you accused someone else? He is the tempter. Have you been tempted to do or say something you shouldn’t? He is lawless. Have you seen any lawlessness going on from all kinds of humans? He is the deceiver. Have you been so sure that you were right about something based on the information yo

Something has been bothering me, and I know I’ve said this before, but I may step on toes here, and lose some of you this time for real. I have never written anything remotely political before, and I wouldn’t say I’m starting now, but bear with me. Have you ever heard of the Sadducees and the Pharisees? They were religious sects within Judaism during the time of Christ. They both held political power. There was a “supreme court” of ancient Israel that held members from both groups called the Sanhedrin. The Sadducees tended to be more wealthy and hold more powerful positions. The Pharisees were more representative of the common working people. Jesus was in almost constant conflict with both of them, and condemned each on more than one occasion. Which brings me to Jesus and politics today. I have seen too many believers who are choosing the world and politics, over God’s Word. I am not saying there is no place for politics, because there is, especially when used to carry out things like

I believe that every one of us who posts on social media can be put into the category of teacher. Everyone one of us is responsible for the content and the words we share. It is all related to how we treat each other.   James 3 is an important chapter in the Bible and is applicable to each of us today. It shows us a standard to which we should all apply to our lives. I like the Message version, and how it makes it clear. Please read these important words.   “Don’t be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you’d have a perfect person, in perfect control of life. A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mo

Warning: Controversial word ahead. I am a substitute teacher at a high school here in town. When school was in, it seemed like at least once or more a day, I would have to tell kids to stop calling each other racist. It felt like a constant and inconceivable battle. I often said, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means (insert laugh over Princess Bride reference).” Over the last month, we have heard that word racism over and over and over again, and my guess is that many of us are tired of hearing about it. Well, until we talk it through, it will never go away. Maybe if we had dealt with it a long time ago, we would not be here today. It can feel like such an offensive word, right? I know I would be offended if I were called that, but ideally, I would take it to God and ask Him to reveal anything in me that resembles such a thing, begging for help to be free of those chains. However, here’s what I believe... Though they exist, I don’t think most peopl

Yesterday I read something that stopped me dead in my tracks. This may be one of the most difficult and painful things for me to write about to date. I feel shame over it, but I feel it’s important to share because it might give you a different perspective. I hope you hang in here with me because it’s long and may be difficult to read.  Through all the conversations we’ve been having, I have never felt like I needed to ask any questions of the white community. Because of how and where I grew up, I felt I knew all the answers. The white community had been “my community.” I did not think there was much I needed to learn about myself either, because I have always been a very introspective person who is honest with herself. Until I read this.  “White supremacy can also infiltrate the thinking of people of color and is seen walked out through internalized racism, colorism, and other such manifestations.” It was like a punch in the gut, and tears came to my eyes. I immediately knew what this

If you are human, and living in the world today, you are probably tired. Some of us feel overwhelmed. Some of us feel hopeless. Some of us feel helpless. Some of us even feel like giving up. The last two weeks have unearthed a ton of emotions. Many of which a lot of us had buried so deep, we believed we would never have to come face to face with them again. We didn’t think we could handle it. I didn’t think I could handle it. I found myself, for the first time, really addressing the invisible shackles I had been wearing for so long. I finally admitted I was a slave. Not a literal slave, but a slave to negative or faulty thoughts and actions that were holding me captive. Some of the negative thoughts were those I inflicted upon myself, and some were forced upon me by others. Regardless of where they came from, I remained in psychological enslavement. I recently learned from Dr. Paul Tripp, “As human beings, we don’t live life based on the facts of our experience, but based on our interp

I finally realized something monumental (in my opinion) the other day that I want to share with you. I hope I express it in a way that makes sense.  Most of us carry some kind of pain, or experience some kind of suffering in our lives. I want anyone who has dealt with hurt, pain, or suffering of any kind to know, I see you too. I have a feeling that one of the reasons it may be difficult to deal with some of what’s happening in this country, is that (maybe unconsciously) it may remind each of us of our own unexpressed or maybe even expressed pain.  I was reminded of this the other day, when an old friend cried out in anger publicly expressing her own struggle with pain. It was the first time many of us were made aware of the depth of that pain due to abuse, loss, and betrayal. She sees the pain of black people, yet struggles with seeing so many act on that pain in destructive ways. She doesn’t do that. A lot of people don’t do that (at least in ways that are clearly visible to others).

Let me warn you. This is going to be a tough one to swallow, and I know I might lose some of you through this. Throughout this crisis, I have been transparent with you about my feelings as a woman of color, so I’m not going to stop now.  This may be surprising and difficult to hear, but you can feel you love a person of color, yet still be prejudice (pre-judge). You can have a best friend who is black, or a coworker you get along with really well, yet still be prejudice.  I know. . . Ouch. There are some in my life, who love me deeply, call me sister, yet still struggle to love others who look like me.   I am aware that I am a more palatable type of human for some people.  I am aware. I feel burdened to share, I am feeling deep pain over posts and comments from brothers and sisters in Christ, who although they have not been moved enough to speak out on the tragedy of the murder of a black man at the hands of an evil man, feel moved to speak out about the riots and looting going on. Or

Over the last week, I have had some very interesting conversations with various people about the issues in our current social and political climate. I know this has been an uncomfortable thing to talk about for some, especially for those who did not grow up with much diversity. However, believe me when I say important. I am inclined to say, racial tensions will never completely go away, but I have decided, I’d like to keep the hope of healing alive. One of the ways we can do that is by talking about it. . . no matter how difficult it may be. Some of you may be thinking “Really?! Do we have to keep talking about this?! Why does everything have to come down to race?!” Well, everything is not about race, but it is something that needs to be dealt with. “The solution is not to “stop making everything about race” and just all come together as one. We have to be anti-racism, not anti-talking-about-race.” (Angela Watson - The Cornerstone For Teachers) If we want it to go away, we have to look

This is my son Isaiah. He wears brown skin. A few months ago, he competed for a college scholarship. He presented himself well.  He was charming, and he looked good. In many ways, Isaiah has advantages over some other boys his age. He comes from a two parent home. Both of his parents have college degrees.  He lives in a middle-class neighborhood where his parents own a home. He has had excellent educational opportunities, and he has been well loved… And he wears brown skin. Isaiah is liked by his peers. He is polite, he is kind, loving, and works hard.  He will be attending a university this fall, and his Dad and I are so proud. We expect he will do well.  However, there is one thing that continues to take up residence in the back of my mind.  It is a worry so many mothers of brown-skinned boys have all over this country. Will he be safe? Will he be in the wrong place at the wrong time and be misunderstood? It doesn’t matter that he has the advantages mentioned above. He still wears br

A few months ago, I shared part of my story about who I am and some struggles I’ve had in a “white world.” In light of the chapter we are on in history, I want to share this with you again, and ask as you read, that you think of your own experiences in whatever skin you live in. If you are comfortable, I would love to hear about your experience and how you have grown, or what prayers you may need to help you get there.   I believe it’s important to share our stories, to share ourselves. This is where we can start.   I am a woman of color in America.   I can acknowledge that I am privileged in many ways. I grew up in a middle class, two-parent home, attended private school, went to and graduated from college, yet still, I struggle. I wear brown skin each day whether I feel like it or not. Though I’ve never carried the literal weight of chains, I do bear psychological scars of enslavement. I know that you see me with a smile on my face that radiates confidence, but the truth that lies be