Christina Speaks

I recently flew to my hometown and visited with friends I’ve known for thirty-six and forty years. As we spent time together, I learned things about them I never knew while growing up. When we were teenagers, they each chose very different paths than I did. Around that time, in the middle of high school, I moved away. Their choices led to years of struggle and heartbreak.   As I spoke with the one who’s known me for forty years, I shared that growing up, I struggled with identity. I never really knew who I was. I was insecure and didn’t think anyone could “see” me. I never believed I had any kind of impact on anyone. She informed me that I have always been the strong person I am today, just like I was as a little girl. In fact, she told me that if I had stayed, she feels she would have been able to resist the temptation to go the wrong direction. She explained that she would have felt strong enough to stand behind me, find confidence through mine, and choose to do the right thing. She

Over a long weekend, I was blessed to spend time with two long-time friends from my hometown of San Diego. I needed the break, but I also needed the perspective. There’s something about going back to where you came from that helps you figure out who and where you are in life. Talking with my friends shed some light on my past and theirs. We realized we had been learning from each other for well over 30 years and continued to do so during our time together. I bet if many of us go back down memory lane to the days of our youth, we will find that we can learn new things all over again or simply from a new perspective. I think most of us older folks can agree that we are grateful no one had portable, mini video cameras when we were growing up. “Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth. Remember me in the light of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, O Lord.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭25:7‬  This week I will dive into some of the lessons I learned during my trip. I hope you are all well. I th

Good morning friends. As you know, every so often I need some down time. The last couple of weeks have been challenging. It’s taking a lot of mental and emotional energy to do my job at work each day, so I need to lighten my load a bit. I know we are all battling some kind darkness right now. Some of us are fighting for others against that darkness. I ask that you pray especially for the young ones. The evil one is coming for them hard. And friends, we have got to stand in the gap and on the front lines as we protect and guide them.  I will not be writing new messages as often, but I will be sharing past lessons that may be relative to life that we are experiencing today. I will continue praying for you, and I hope you’ll do the same for me. I’m not going away, just taking a step back. Remember our battle is not against flesh and blood. It is of the spiritual nature. That means we must fight back, calling on the power that raised Jesus from the dead. “For he has rescued us from the kin

The man who does not permit his spirit to be beaten down and upset by dryness and helplessness, but who lets God lead him peacefully through the wilderness, and desires no other support or guidance than that of pure faith and trust in God alone, will be brought to the Promise Land. -Thomas Merton Does anyone feel like they are wandering through the wilderness? I’m guessing that many of us are feeling that way right about now. When our pastor shared that quote yesterday, I thought of my own situations that have had me feeling like a wanderer for years. I thought of so many of you still waiting on God’s promises.  Maybe it’s a loved one you are waiting to come back to the right path, a marriage broken, dreams shattered. Whatever it is, you’ve been in that desert waiting so long that maybe you feel as if God has forgotten you. Even though it feels like you are wandering alone in that desert, I want to remind you that the Lord will never ever leave you. He is rearranging the universe aroun

As you head into the weekend, I encourage you to leave as much as you can where it is. Leave behind the fear, the discouragement, the drama. Look forward to a time of refreshment and a press of the reset button. Find a quiet place… any quiet place, to reconnect with your Creator. If the weekend is a time when you must stand up to fight a difficult battle, I have a prayer for you. As you pray, remember that no matter what— The Lord is for you. Dear Heavenly Father, I face situations and decisions. It’s complicated and dense. I feel confused and lost.  Can you help me? Can you show me the light?  First of all, oh Lord, calm my heart.  Let me know that my peace  depends upon you alone.  No matter how things turn out,  with you at the center of my life,  I will stand. I will survive.  May your spirit keep me balanced.  Lord show me your will.  Let my mind and heart be open to what best serves truth and life.  Give me courage to do what’s right.  Show me your Word.  Reveal it to my heart, o

Okay, this is hard for me to say right now, and it may be hard for you to know about me. I can’t feel God. That’s weird, right? It’s weird to me too, but I must admit that sometimes I go through this. As I was thinking about what to share with you today, I thought to myself, “I have nothing. How can I tell them that I don’t feel anything?”  I then felt God speaking to my spirit, telling me to just give it to you straight. And that, as always, I’m not the only one.  So what do we do when we don’t feel God? The benefit I have when going through this kind of thing is a foundation of faith. It doesn’t matter how I FEEL; it’s about what I know. I know that God is good. I know that I can trust Him. I know that I can look to his Word for guidance. I know that His Word is alive and active in me. I know that I will feel Him again.  It’s really nice to be on that spiritual high when we have all the feels, but reality is that it’s not always going to be about emotion. Feelings come and go, and al

The other day I was talking with a friend who is dealing with a life-threatening illness. She is tired of being sick. She is tired of her treatments, she is tired of being afraid, and she is angry. Have any of you ever felt that way?  I have. She also felt guilty over those feelings. Guilty for not trusting God enough not to feel those things. But here’s the thing: God created those feelings. He gets it. The Lord never intended for us to be sick, or in pain, or even die. All of that happened when sin entered the world. I believe our Creator grieves over our pain. He understands when we get angry over our suffering.  My advice to my friend was to take time to be angry. Take time to scream and yell and cry. Then, get up, clean your face, and keep trusting God.  Just because we get angry or tired or afraid doesn’t mean we lack faith. Sometimes we just need to go through the emotions to find the love of our Creator on the other side.  Even King David cried out: “The cords of death entangle

Have you ever considered the complexity of prayer? Have you ever had something you needed to pray about, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk to God about whatever the issue was? I have experienced that many times. I will call it “Prayer paralysis.” Prayer paralysis happens when you are afraid of any answer God might give you. If He says no, then you might feel bad, or sad, or even angry. If He says yes, then your fear factor increases because you just don’t think you can handle what a “Yes” entails (which essentially means that you don’t trust Him). So instead of revealing your lack of trust (Like seriously, you don’t think He knows? ), you just don’t pray. It’s kind of like when you were a little kid, and you would sit still and close your eyes, thinking that it would make you invisible. God already knows our fears of failure, self-pride, and even our trust issues, so we might as well just go ahead and lay it all at His feet. There’s another kind of prayer paralysis that I ha